Saturday, July 17, 2010
My WIP: The Opening Paragraphs
As many of you know, I'm writing a YA spin off of the novel I'm querying right now. I'm hoping even if this round of queries doesn't add up to anything, I can query this book and then go back to the other one once I'm rich and famous. :) hehe
So I found a picture to go with it. Paradise 21 turns out to be anything but a paradise. Surrounded by cosmic dust, the sky changes from twilight gray to purple and the sun is never gold.
Here's the opening paragraphs. Any suggestions would be awesome as long as you are nice.
My great grandmom was a retired space pirate. As a little girl I’d visit her room when everyone else dreamed in their sleep pods and crawl onto her boney lap as she sat in her hoverchair, gazing at the stars. She’d tell me horrible stories about Space Pirate Central and how lucky I was to be born on the Ark. I’d sink into the cotton of her robe and listen to her trembling voice, careful not to disturb the tubes keeping her alive, sprouting from her arms like the strings of a marionette.
“You are special,” her breath felt light as a whisper on my cheek. “Because your generation will reach the paradise planet.”
Staring into her shining gray-blue eyes, I wondered why anyone would want to leave the Ark. The ship had everything anyone could ever need: food grown under the biodome, and rules dictated perfectly by the Guide. Back then I longed for nothing to change, to stay in my cocoon and never have to break free. But change is the only constant in our lives; it shapes us as much as it tears us down.