Sunday, February 17, 2013

The Dragonslayer Blog Tour: 13 Horrible Dragon Hoards

Today Christine Rains is here talking about dragons:


Back in medieval times, there were only so many valuable things for dragons to collect. Gold, gems, silverware, and chamberpots. But this past century has brought many great and wondrous discoveries. So many worthy treasures for dragons to stash away. Yet what is considered great changes so quickly these days. Here are 13 of the most horrible dragon hoards.

  1. Soda pop bottles. Every human wants them. They're full of liquid delight. The dragon would be lucky if he could still find some place to get five cents a bottle.
  2. E.T. the video game. You may have heard of the urban legend of the Atari Video Game Burial. What if it's really an abandoned dragon's hoard? It would suck to be that dragon who collected millions of copies of the E.T. game and realized afterward they were worthless.
  3. Beta tapes. The dragon failed in his hope that these would be around a long time.
  4. Disco balls. This dragons roars, “Disco will never die!”
  5. Floppy disks. Hey! I still own floppies. What does that say about my hoarding tendencies?
  6. Tires. Every vehicle needs them. Couldn't be more valuable than that! Let's just hope this dragon didn't collect Firestone tires.
  7. Pogs. Every child was eager to get their hands on them. Surely it would be as timeless as chess. Or maybe not.
  8. Lava lamps. This has to be one groovy dragon. Imagine what his cave would look like. Actually, this might be a pretty cool hoard!
  9. Toilets. This must be the same dragon that collected chamberpots.
  10. Street signs. Nope, this isn't some teenage dragon on a dare. Signs these days are big, flashy, and colorful. Plus, humans and their puny brains need signs to tell them what to do while driving. Imagine the anarchy without them! BWUHAHAHA!!!
  11. Fake Christmas trees. Every year, people gather round and worship these things. They even offer up gifts by placing them under it. I bet this is a green dragon with a heart two sizes too small.
  12. Aprons. They're so fashionable these days. This dragon will wear his “Kiss the cook” apron when he has you over for dinner.
  13. Baywatch merchandise. Every collector's item possible. If anything could be more horrible than this, I'd like to know.

Can you think of something horrible a modern day dragon might hoard?

And now for the awesome book!!!!

Title: 1303 The Dragonslayer (The 
13th Floor series, #3)
Author: Christine Rains
Genre: paranormal romance
Release date: February 13th, 2013

On the rooftop of neighboring building, dragonslayer Xanthus Ehrensvard fires at his target, Governor Whittaker. How he missed the shot, he doesn't know, but fleeing the scene, he picks up an unwanted passenger. Gorgeous reporter Lois King saw Xan's face, and she believes it's the story to make her career. Except he can't let her walk away knowing what he looks like. Xan has to show her the Governor is a bigger threat to the world than he is.

Xan knows dragons never went extinct. They evolved with human society, taking on mortal forms, and slithered their way into positions of great influence and power, just like the Governor.
But it's no easy chore proving to someone that dragons still exist, and even more so, they're disguised as famous people. Xan must convince Lois or find another way to silence her. An option, as he gets to know her, he likes less and less.

After all, dragonslayers are no longer celebrated heroes but outlaws. Just as the dragons wish it. But this outlaw must make a plan to slay the dragon or risk its retribution.

Author Bio:

Christine Rains is a writer, blogger, and geek mom. She has four degrees which help nothing with motherhood, but make her a great Jeopardy player. When she's not writing or reading, she having adventures with her son or watching cheesy movies on Syfy Channel. She's a member of S.C.I.F.I. The 13th Floor series is her first self-published series. She has four novellas and eighteen short stories published.

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Christine Rains said...

Thank you for hosting today, Aubrie! :)

Heather R. Holden said...

*hee* Love this list. So amusing! (Don't worry, disco ball-hoarding dragon. I don't like to think disco is dead, either! XD)

Krista McLaughlin said...

Lava lamp hoarding - hilarious! The toilet one would be a bit gross, lol. I hope a dragon wouldn't hoard modern day stupid things like beanie babies, hoping they would be worth money someday!

Christine Rains said...

Heather, hehehe! Disco is making a comeback according to some!

Krista, oh yeah, beanie babies. Some poor dragon must've fallen into that trap!